I took the kids to see Toy Story 3 yesterday, June 18th - I simply could not wait a single day to watch it, I had to see it opening day! So J, E, my parents and I all headed over to the Landmark Theatres, climbed to the back row and buckled down to see what adventures Woody and Buzz experience this time.

Guys, I laughed out loud, HARD, several times.  Sometimes to the point of wanting to apologize to the nice older couple next to me (who were there with nary a kid in tow). It was like a reunion of all of the beloved characters from Toy Story and Toy Story 2. If the characters weren't there, it was all explained to you where they went. Closure, no loopholes, it was good. But rest assured Woody, Buzz, Jessie, Bullseye, Mr. and Mrs. Potatohead, the alien triplets, Slinky, Rex and Pig are all in attendance and ready for action. Even Buster the dog made several fantastic appearances, and some of his senior moments were my favorite laughs in the movie. My other favorite moments have to do with Barbie and Ken, whom I will never look at the same...

So the big question that this movie answers is, "what happens to toys when their boy or girl are done with them." Do they go to the attic? To the curb? To college with their kids? Or do they get donated?

There were some new characters, and here is where I warn you of the devious characters. Don't trust anyone. Well, trust me of course, but don't trust any of the new characters. Now it's no shock from the commercial that through some mysterious unrevealed series of events, our beloved friends end up at the local daycare. Please don't read on if you don't like spoilers, 'cause I'm about the spoil the bejeezus outta this movie.

----TISSUE ALERT----

Don't go to this movie without a handful of tissues, or at the very least, very absorbent sleeves. I am now cursed with obsessing over how hard I'm going to cry when J and E leave for college in 14 years.

----SPOILER ALERT----

Lotso the Bear: He comes across as the friendly older bear, walking with a cane, and lovingly show Andy's toys around as if this day care is actually a spa/retirement/assisted living facility. And therein lies the twist - there are two rooms, the Caterpillars (toddlers) and the Butterflies (preschoolers).  Guess who is more gentle with their toys? That's right, preschoolers.  And guess who is rough with them, paints with them, chews on them and generally tortures them? Toddlers.  Guess where the new recruits go to start off with?  That's right, so Andy's toys end up in the torture room. Lotso has a history of being the most beloved bear of his girl Daisy until she forgets him and his friends on a hill after a picnic (note to self, make sure that J's Sweetie and E's Jo Jo Maggie Storm are always back in their backpacks after a picnic). Lotso makes it back to his girl's house to find that he has been replaced by a new bear. This turns his heart cold and he creates a dictatorship at the daycare that he ends up in with a class system, punishment, and a high-end security system that involves a shrieking monkey that sets off the alarm if anyone tries to escape.

Through many adventures, both funny and scary, everything works out.  It always does in Disney doesn't it? But there are some seriously dark moments.  More dark than any previous Toy Story.  Most specifically there is a impending pit of fiery doom at the dump, where our beloved friends end up. There is seemingly no way out! They even all hold hands as they find closure with their untimely and unavoidable destruction. At this point J is crying so hard he can barely breath.  I'm considering getting the popcorn bag ready because if he cried any harder we were going to have a projectile event. My mom curled him up on her lap and comforted him while we waited, in fear, for evidence that this third installation must surely be the last. Rest assured, in their final moments there is a rescue of unpredictable proportions.  You could hear the entire audience sigh with relief, and then you heard E cheering, screaming, bouncing up and down with delight.

So what was the answer to the age old question, "what happens to toys when their boy or girl are done with them?" Well that's entirely up to you really, but after seeing Toy Story 3 we can tell you this. Good toys find a good home with a little girl or boy who will love them and play with them just like their original kids do.  And bad toys - well they are the ones that you see tied up to a big rig radiator grill...

I would strongly suggest you consider keeping the sensitive kids under 5 out of this movie and watch it at home with them in the safety of your own couch.  Had I taken J to see this last year it would have been truly awful for him.  It was only mildly awful as he was able to reason and come to terms with it fairly quickly.